HANDLING FINANCE IN MARRIAGE
Finances can be explosive to a marriage. How money should and shouldn’t be spent can create a spark. Decisions on spending, saving, giving, investing, hobbies, allowances etc are issues to be discussed in a marriage.
Many conflicts in marriage revolve around handling finances; transparency on what one earns,how to spend it and on what, who should pay for what, which relatives to support, property co-ownership,
and the like. We need wisdom to understand when we should move out of our families to a far away place to make money. It’s not healthy to abandon a young marriage/home especially with young children in the name of making money for the abandoned family.
Remember you can make a lot of money but in the process lose your family! Whatever decision you make, weigh the cost it might have on your relationship with God, spouse and children. Learn to set your priorities right.
We cannot enjoy money in our marriage unless we understand the concept of stewardship, A steward is a person who takes care of the property of another person. Money belongs to God and he gives it to people to fulfill his purpose. When it comes to family, God provides to families by giving partners employment. It doesn’t matter who earns and how much, because you are a team.
Most asked Question: Money is becoming a huge problem in our marriage. I think my spouse spends too much. Meanwhile, I’ve been accused of being “stingy” and “unrealistic.” How can we resolve these conflicts and develop a “team strategy” in the area of finance?
Financial disagreements can be a huge problem between husband and wife, especially when one of them is convinced that the other is spending too much. But it’s a problem the two of you can face and conquer together provided you keep some basic guidelines and principles in mind.
Getting on the same page
If you think your spouse is overspending, try to understand the deeper motivations behind this behaviour. There can be a variety of reasons for overspending – deprived childhood, privileged childhood, depression, anxiety, the thrill of the hunt – but they all come down to one thing: the quest for security. The antidote is a healthy grasp of God’s love, provision, and grace. It’s the realization that things don’t provide ultimate security – God does. Before making a purchase, husbands and wives need to ask themselves, “What am I trying to do?” If the answer has anything to do with finding fulfillment or escaping stress or pain, don’t buy the item. Instead, take your search for security to the Lord and find it in Him.
On a more practical level, it’s vital that both of you understand exactly what things cost and how often they need to be purchased. Some people enter marriage with very different experiences of spending, saving and tithing, and a number of preconceived notions (many of them highly inaccurate) about the price tags attached. For example, knowing that a certain computer program is purchased once with upgrades bought every year will help spouses agree on the real cost. So will the knowledge that $20 worth of powder could last three months for some women and six months for others.
Finally, understand that you must learn to live on less than you earn. Living from one paycheque to the next isn’t comfortable for anyone. It can lead each of you to feel taken for granted, used and insecure about the future. What’s worse, in cases of crisis or unexpected expenditure, it can send you over the edge of financial solvency into a downward spiral of endlessly accumulating debt.
The benefits of setting a budget
This is where the importance of budgeting comes in. A budget will enable you not only to live within your means, but also to set something aside for a rainy day. Among the many benefits of adopting a budget, some of the more noteworthy include the following:
A budget can encourage spouses to submit to the same authority: God. To set up a budget, you have to establish priorities. Discussing those priorities and seeking God’s direction in the process can take you a long way in the direction of financial harmony.
Above all let us learn that Money is not an end in itself; it’s a tool to accomplish God’s plans and purposes.
Praying for restoration and healing of families.
Join this battle to deliver lost marriages.
Psalms 133:1 How good and pleasant it is when God’s people live together in unity!
2 It is like precious oil poured on the head, running down on the beard, running down on Aaron’s beard,
down on the collar of his robe.
3 It is as if the dew of Hermon were falling on Mount Zion. For there the Lord bestows his blessing,
even life forevermore.
For more prayer and teachings join us in the attached video.
MARRIAGE IS ABOUT DISCOVERING YOUR SPOUSE
BY: EMMANUEL AND SHARON AHIMBISIBWE
Marriage is made in a such way that you do not only live to enjoy your spouse,but rather live all your life discovering him/her.
May be more often you feel like “all this long he/she has never understood me!” “You can’t say you didn’t know what I meant even when I didn’t speak,you knew….”
I have a reason for you. Marriage is about discovering your spouse. And each time you discover a “thing” you feel a relief AND joy. You feel life making more sense.
MARRIAGE IS A COVENANT BETWEEN GOD AND MARRIAGE PARTNERS
NICHOLAS AND OLIVIAS TUGUME
Malachi 2:16 “For I hate divorce!” says the LORD, the God of Israel. “To divorce your wife is to overwhelm her with cruelty,” says the LORD of Heaven’s Armies. “So guard your heart; do not be unfaithful to your wife.”
In the beginning, God created Adam and Eve and intended they be joined together as husband and wife: “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh” (Gen. 2:24; also Mark 10:6-9).
We have two ways in which we can build God’s kingdom here on earth through raising Godly families and through evangelism (converting non believers). Therefore satan will always fight Christian families. Brethren we have to wake up to raise families after God’s heart. Marriage is not by convenience, it is a ministry that we offer to God and no ministry without a sacrifice. Many times your spouse will not deserve your sacrifice but we can do it to God.
Paul informs us that God’s intentions for the marriage relationship between husband and wife could be used as a picture of God’s intentions for the relationship between Jesus and His church (Eph.5:23).
God gave humans free will; then Satan entered the picture and he has been working to end God’s design for the marriage relationship ever since.
There are important things we need to note on marriage
1. Marriage is a spiritual covenant between God and the marriage partners and it is taken very seriously by God. God intended that there be only one marriage (Gen. 2:24, Mark 10:6-9). Godly soul ties are created through the covenant of marriage.
2. Sexual relationship is meant only for married couples. Fornication, adultery, etc is sin against God. We are temples of the Holyspirit and we have obligation to keep God’s temple clean. Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have received from God? (1 Corinthians 6:19)
3. Divorce is not within God’s original design and, therefore, He considers it sin. Spiritual laws are violated in the practice of divorce (Mat. 5:32).
4. There are identifiable justifications for divorce within the scriptures especially unfaithfulness in marriage through adultery and fornication (Mat. 5:32).
5. When adultery happens, God’s “two shall become one flesh” plan (Gen. 2:24) becomes
confused, polluted, and broken. When this plan is broken, it provides an entry
point for the powers of darkness. Therefore avoid adultery as much as possible.
6. Divorce can easy bring a curse from God. Ecclesiastes 5:4-6 suggests that a curse of divorce may be set in motion if we breaking avow with God (and marriage is a vow). Because in marriage a covenant was made with God. Seek marriage counseling as much as possible to save your marriage.
Therefore as a family of one heavenly father, we ought to support those who go through this awful experience of divorce with spiritual and emotional support because there will always be a need for inner healing because of the feelings of anger, betrayal, abandonment, hate, bitterness, and rejection that may result from a divorce.
Prayer: Heavenly Father in Jesus’ name, we pray for restoration of families that have been scattered by divorce. We pray for mutual love and faithfulness in marriage. We pray for those waiting on you for the gift of children, that you will graciously hear them LORD. LORD help us raise a generation after your heart through our marriages in Jesus’ name. Amen.
KILLERS OF MARRIAGE
BY: NICHOLAS AND OLIVIAS TUGUME
· Laziness kills marriage. Get out of your comfort, don’t just sit.
· Suspicion kills marriage. Policing on your spouse is not good.
· Lack of trust kills marriage. Try to be open as much as possible.
· Lack of mutual respect kills marriage
· Unforgiveness kills marriage (Forgiveness is not optional but mandatory)
· Arguments kills marriage. You don’t need to be right all the time.
· Keeping secrets from your spouse kills marriage. Your spouse is your best friend.
· Every form of infidelity kills marriage (financial, emotional, psychological, material, etc)
· Poor communication kills marriage. How you say it is important than what you say.
. Lies easily kills marriage, be sincere to your spouse in every aspect.
· Relating more with your parents or opposite sex than your spouse kills marriage
· Starvation of your spouse sexually kills marriage.
· Nagging kills marriage.
· Too much talk and careless talk kills marriage
· Spending less or little time with your spouse kills marriage. Try an outing.
· Being too independent minded kills marriage
· Excessive spending, unnecessary partying kills marriage
· Exposing the inadequacies of your spouse to your parents or siblings kills marriage
· Not being steadfast/fervent in the spirit kills not only marriage but your life
· Spurning correction and reprimand kills marriage.
· Always wearing a sad face and being moody kills marriage. Life is too short, Put on a smile.
· Uncontrolled anger or hot temperament kills marriage.
· Not understanding your role and position in marriage as instituted by God kills marriage.
· Not being sensitive to the spiritual, emotional and physical needs of your spouse kills marriage
· Watch what threatens the position of your spouse. When anything threatens the position/security of a wife, her reaction(s) will be detrimental to her marriage.
· Read the bible as a family for lack of the knowledge of the word of God kills marriage.
May God bring healing to every troubled home and family. Amen.
COMMUNICATION IS KEY IN MARRIAGE
BY: MOSES AND PATIENCE TWIZERE 30/1/2018
When a husband and wife are not communicating, it gives the devil a chance to talk to each spouse separately, sowing seeds of suspicion, doubt and lies.
The silent treatment is the loudest invitation of trouble in your marriage. Regardless of how bad things get between you and your spouse, KEEP TALKING.
NOT ALL HOPE IS GONE
BY MRS. BARBRA NAMANYA
A wedding day is one of the most joyful days I have witnessed. Everything is new and exciting and usually it is a one time event. People will say; this is your only day, please enjoy it and most brides especially will do all it takes to enjoy their ‘only day’.
For some however, enjoyment doesn’t proceed even to the honeymoon, if at all they get it. It all seemed well, you’re both born again and there is a way you hope life to run after the big day…..and bang!!!!!
But after a few weeks, you get to know each other deeper and excuse me… the odds seem unbearable, it appears to you that this is not the man/woman you married. Adultery comes in, your partner friend can actually tell lies, oh he/she even gets drunk, keeps secrets from you, cares about everyone and everything else but not you….the list is endless.The earth seems closing in and small, it is you and you alone to face reality alone. You pray all kinds of prayers and it all seems in vain. What do you do?????
My sister/brother, you are not alone and not all hope is gone. All the good couples we admire in life, we don’t know what they have endured unless we open up to ask how they have kept a smile. You need counsel for such people, visit them. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. (1 Corinthians 13:7).
Remain faithful to your vows despite the odds of love. Jesus never changes, he is ever faithful.
1. Don’t stop praying. Only God can understand how desperate you are. Do not settle until the heavens opens up at your situation.
2. Surround yourself with the right people. Don’t make your marriage a gossip,but have people/person to share with. There are times you will wake up and you can’t even say a single word to God about your situation,you need someone in the gap.
3. Do your part. Two wrongs cannot make a right so you don’t want to make matters worse by playing games of tit for tat.
4. Be yourself. With or without a partner,there is someone you were created to be,the original you…be that person. DO NOT LOSE YOURSELF. If you can’t enjoy life on earth,please purpose to have your place in heaven untampered with.
5. Appreciate the difference. God has created us differently, brought up in different backgrounds and therefore never expect your spouse to behave the same way. But keep praying for changes.
My prayer is to all families being tested through the odds of life. May God uphold you in Jesus’ name.
A MOTHER’S SACRIFICE
On my mind lies the sacrifice we mothers make, that you can totally forget that you are human for the sake of your babes take an example of women who stick in the worst marriages just to raise the babies. some have done this to give the babies a chance to grow in a family. Others have also sacrificed and decided to raise these kids on their own because they were thrown out of house to go away but they don’t throw their kids.
My heart too goes out for mother’s whose baby dad’s have denied foetuses while still weeks in the womb but they chose not to flush them out….My biggest bravo goes to women who are the ones that work hard to achieve for the happiness of their families….
Better still those who have been called barren but later proved it wrong and bore them kids as women life throws too much at us to chew but some times it’s the brave that get the best out of the situations…